How do you know it's time for the big talk with aging parents?

The Big Talk is not referring to the dreaded “birds and the bees” conversation but it is almost as uncomfortable for both the parents and the children. This is the conversation we, as adult children, eventually need to initiate with our aging parents. If you have parents in the baby boomer generation or are lucky enough to have parents in the Silent Generation (born before 1945), this is a conversation that, if you haven’t started, should start today.

The baby boomer generation is currently at a place in their lives where they are faced with the challenge of providing for the needs of a growing family, caring for elderly parents, and planning for retirement. It can be a struggle to find a balance.

Speaking with your parents about the legal, medical, and financial issues associated with aging can be uncomfortable for all parties involved. We would like to offer a few suggestions for you to keep in mind when that time comes:

·         Be prepared with the items you feel are important and want to discuss. Research these topics ahead of time.

·         The conversation will most likely be a little awkward for all parties, but don’t procrastinate. It’s a lot easier to make decisions about the future when all parties are in good health and there aren’t immediate decisions that have to be made.

·         Set aside time to meet with your parents in a private location. You will be discussing financial and medical matters and respecting their privacy is important. A public restaurant is usually not an ideal spot for this meeting!

·         If possible, include all siblings in any conversation about your parent’s care. Although most spouses are considered part of the family, this first meeting may be better without them.

·         Be patient as the questions you are asking can trigger a lot of emotion and means coming to the realization that the end of life is now much closer than the beginning.

·         The conversations you have will not be easy, but they are necessary. Keep the conversation productive but do not expect to walk away with all the answers. 

If you are uncomfortable starting the conversation, a trusted financial or legal advisor can help.